The Eddsworld Book of Random
by Lbat1901
Summary: A book that contains funny skits, adaptions of the official EW comics, and oneshots. Requests are open!
1. Greetings!

Hello and welcome my Eddsworld book of random.

Here I post skits and adaptations from the comics. Oh and I also post some things that I've written at 2am, so there's that.

I even do oneshots. These oneshots are bascally x readers. Keep in mind, that I make them gender neutral. So if you want an x reader, just give me your request in the reviews or just PM me.

So far I've written oneshots for Patryck, Jon, Tom, and Edd.

Anyway happy reading!


	2. Friends? Enemies? Frenemies?

Edd: nothing is better than spending some time with you Matt

Matt: *smiles* indeed

Edd: no, wait...hold on...let me just rephrase that for a minute

Matt: *looks confused* huh?

Edd: nothing is better than not spending time with you

Matt: *looks unamused* really?

Edd: *drawing* oh yes perfect...it just one more thing and I'm done

Matt: *comes up behind him* ummm...excuse me, I should have more lines than you

Edd: *gets angry* grr...fine. Come back in an hour

Matt: okay

[One hour later...]

Matt: oh Edd, I wanna see those lines that you gave me

Edd: oh...sure thing...buddy

[Matt sees that Edd gave more lines in the drawing of him]

Matt: *looks unamused again* god...I hate you

Edd: *smirks evilly*

[Christmas Day]

Matt: hey Edd, what did you got for Christmas?

Edd: oh I got these cool looking binoculars, how about you?

Matt: I gotten floodlights

Edd: oh that's- wait...what?

[Matt presses a button on a remote control making the floodlights turn and the light reacts with the binoculars as a similar way to that of a magnifying glass, thus causing Edd's eyes to be set on fire]

Edd: *feels his eyes on fire* GAHHHH!

Edd: *draws again* yes, this starting look good. Now let's add the finishing touch

Matt: *comes up behind him again* hey there friend, I have something really, really important to tell you

Edd: okay, what is it?

Matt: I want you...to draw me more! I mean come on, you ain't gonna let this beauty go to waste now would you?

Edd: *gets angry again* grr...fine. I'll see what I can do

Matt: really? Thanks. I'll come back in an hour *leaves*

[Spongebob Narrator Voice: one hour later...]

Matt: *smiling* oh boy, oh boy, oh boy...is it done? Don't keep me waiting, I gotta know

Edd: oh it's done alright. I'm sure you will like it, it's a surprise

Matt: I like surprises. Let's how well you did

[Matt looks at the drawing only to see that Edd had drawn him in a tutu while being surrounded by glitter and sparkles]

Matt: *looks shocked* oh...never mind...you should draw me less *backs away slowly out of the room*

Edd: *chuckles evilly* you're right Matt, I should draw you less

[Christmas Day...again]

Matt: Merry Christmas Edd! I got you a present *gives Edd a present*

Edd: *takes it* awww...thanks Matt *starts unwrapping it*

Matt: *smiles* you're welcome

Edd: *unwraps the present fully which reveals a brown box* geez Matt, you shouldn't have

[Out of nowhere the box opens up to show a boxing glove that was supposed to hit Edd in the face but ended up hitting Matt directly in his stomach instead]

Matt: *gets hit in the stomach before flying off* WAHHH!

Edd: I mean you really shouldn't have


	3. When The Bass Drops You

Tom: hey Edd, check out my new bass! *holds up a red bass guitar*

Edd: uhh...what happened to your old- I mean Susan?

Tom: Susan? I don't know what you're talking about

Edd: your bass Susan, you know the black bass. I thought you love he-

Tom: *drops on his knees before crying* SHE LEFT ME!

Edd: left you? For what?

Tom: oh just for a stupid...saxophone who seems to be way too good looking than me

Edd: oh...


	4. Forget Me Not

Matt: hey Edd, look at what I just found! *holds up a silver cylinder shaped device*

Edd: *looks at* huh...? Hmm...that looks like one of those weird things that those guys wearing black suits wear to wipe away memories

Matt: oh really? I suppose you're right. I should probably put this back where I found it

Edd: yeah you should

Matt: okay, I'm putting it back *accidentally puts a finger on the top of it which activates it* WAHH!

Edd: are you okay, Matt?

Matt: hey Edd, look at what I just found! *holds up the memory eraser again*

Edd: oh geez...


	5. Flooded Hallway

Matt: *whistling* *walks down a hallway* *feels something wet* what the? *looks down to see the hall flooded* uhh...why is the hall flooded?

Edd: you know Matt, you and this water level have a lot in common!

Matt: really now? What will that be exactly?

Edd: *holds in a small laugh* you're both shallow! *starts laughing*

Matt: *looks unamused* did you seriously just flood the house just so you can make a really bad pun?

Edd: oh come on Matt don't be so shallow about it. It was worth it

Matt: *sighs heavily*


	6. Taking Out The Trash

Tom: *walks in* Edd, can you take out the trash?

Edd: *painting* huh? Oh yeah...sure thing

Tom: alright *leaves the room*

[One Hour Later]

Tom: *walks in* uh, you haven't forgotten about the trash, right?

Edd: *still painting* of course I haven't

Tom: okay, I was just checking *leaves the room again*

[Two Hours Later]

Tom: *walks in for the third and final time* Edd, I said-

Edd: *gets angry* QUIT INTERRUPTING ME! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE!?

Tom: I- *sighs*...fine...I'll just do it myself then *leaves the room*

Edd: yes, I am done. Let's see how this looks

{The painting that Edd was working on turns out to be him taking out the trash with an unamused look on his face]

Edd: ah yes, perfect


	7. Insulting Each Other By Using Shapes?

Eduardo: just look at him, his stupid brown hair, his stupid green sweater, and his annoying voice that I can't stand

Jon: you mean just like you, right? *gets punched in the face* OW!

Eduardo: did I say that you can talk Jon?

Jon: n...no...

Eduardo: do me a favor and shut up

Jon: yes Eduardo, sorry Eduardo

Eduardo: thank you *looks back at Edd*

Edd: *doesn't see Eduardo* hahaha that's really funny *drinks a can of cola*

Eduardo: God I hate it when he drinks cola. Two can play at this game *takes out a can of diet coke*

[Eduardo walks over to Edd's backyard and as he was going to pass him, Eduardo accidentally knocks Edd's can out of his hand without noticing]

Edd: *gasp* *slowly* nooooooooooooooooooo *tries to catch the can but ends up failing* my cola, that was my cola. Who knocked my cola? *looks around and sees Eduardo* Eduardooo...*walks over to him*

Eduardo: Edd should be noticing me by now *takes a sip of his diet coke*

Edd: *approaches Eduardo* grr...why you stupid triangle. HEE YA! *karate chops at Eduardo's can thus knocking it out his hand and onto the ground*

Eduardo: my Diet Coke, my precious Diet Coke *notices Edd* Edd...

Edd: *growls angrily*

Eduardo: why you idiotic rhombus!

Edd: why you son of a square!

Eduardo: you stupid half circle!

Edd: you stupid pyramid!

Eduardo: that's it! COME HERE YOU RECTANGLE!

[Both Edd and Eduardo start duking it out in a dust cloud]

Edd: REFLEX ANGLE!

Eduardo: OBTUSE ANGLE!

Matt: they're...they're just insulting and calling each other shapes

Tom: yea I see that

Matt: so if they were to call me something mean, would they call me an acute angle?

Tom: no an acute angle would be a compliment

Matt: oh well that's nice to hear. I want to be called a shape

Tom: Matt you're a stupid oval, you know that right?

Matt: aww, is an oval a compliment?

Tom: no that's an insult

Matt: what? *starts tearing up* but...but why?

Tom: *sighs*

Edd: YOU RECTANGULAR PRISM!

Eduardo: YOU TRIANGULAR PRISM!

Edd: GOD I HATE YOU SO MUCH!

Eduardo: SO DO I!

{End


	8. A Child With Anger Issues Pt 1

Teacher: hey! Your child beat up 12 kids on the first day of kindergarten

Patryck: *looks at the teacher* *smiles nervously* oh….don't you worry. We promise that he won't do that ever again. I swear

Paul: yea….you're lucky that he didn't kill anyone today

Patryck: *looks at Paul* you're not helping Paul!

[The next day]

Tord: *walks into the classroom* *humming to himself before seeing his classmates staring at him in fear* ehh..?

Teacher: *gets in front between the kids and Tord* *holds up a cross at Tord* stay away you demon!

Tord: *looks at her in confusion*


	9. A Child With Anger Issues Pt 2

div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;"Tord: *looking at something* /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;"Patryck: *comes up to him* Tord you were supposed to be cleaning your room. Why aren't you doing it? *notices that Tord wasn't listening to him* hey Tord, I'm talking to you/div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;"Tord: *continues to ignore Patryck* /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;"Patryck: Tord, I told you to get off that stupid box like a few minutes ago and yet you're still on it. What do you have to say for yourself? /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;"Tord: *slowly turns around and looks at Patryck with anger in his eyes* I thought I told you to LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME OLD MAN! /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;"Patryck: *gasps in surprise and in fear* *backs slowly away from Tord* you…you can't talk to me like that /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;"Paul: *comes up from behind Patryck* yeah! You can't /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;"Tord: pffft…..whatever *goes back to what he was doing* /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;"Paul: *picks up a shoe before throwing it at Tord*/div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;" /div  
div style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;"Tord: *gets hit on the head by the shoe* …..!/div 


	10. Patryck x Reader

_This x reader was requested by a user by the name of sbcjtjzhcjejcg (on Wattpad) who asked for a Patryck x reader. You know before I wrote this, I looked up Patryck X readers, but unfortunately I didn't find any which is a shame. _

_Well I did found Paul x readers, but that's just barely anything for both characters. I did found a few, but that's not enough. _

_So...can we all just agree on giving these two pilots the love that they deserved although they only had a few appearances in Eddsworld? _

_Anyway...sorry if this took long to do because I was busy with a bunch of other things. But hey, a promise is a promise, is a promise. _

_I'll be real here, I've never done an x reader before, so this my first rodeo, so go easy on me_

_Now onto the show _

_Wait a minute, I'm putting this here to tell you that I making the reader gender neutral_

_Okay, we're good now_

_Please enjoy the show_

You were a soldier in the Red Army lead by the all mighty Red Leader himself. You wanted to join, because you had nowhere else to go considering the fact that a lot of places couldn't take you since you were too rebellious against the system.

Joining the army wasn't that hard since you only had to say one thing which that you wanted to kill somebody. Those officials smiled at your reasoning and gave you the slip. Just like what they always say, don't ask questions, just demand your response.

For your first few years of being in basic training, you were out to the test. You were quite successful. So successful that the person who was in charge of leading those in basic training, was man named Patryck. Patryck saw what you could do and was impressed. You smiled at his encouraging words while feeling something deep inside that you shrugged off the first time.

Once getting to know the basics and combat of being a soldier, you were eventually promoted. For this promotion, you got to experience what it's like to be in storage room with lots of weaponry. Of course, you were partnered with Patryck along side his friend Paul. The two were happy to assist you as long as they're not busy with guarding the Red Leader whenever they go somewhere. There are times where they would take you along with them.

As time went by you grew close to Paul and Patryck, but the feelings that you've felt when you first saw Patryck came back. Every time when you see him, you would feel a warm fuzzy feeling. Of course, Patryck asks you if you're alright to which you say that you are. But...you just know that you're far from being alright.

It was a normal day, you and Paul were busy with counting the number of ammunition after learning that Paul allowed an army tank to get stolen.

"Hey (y/n), is everything good on that side?" Paul said. "Because I could use a little help."

"Yeah Paul, everything's alright." (y/n) said.

You came to the side that Paul was on only to see that he was trying to keep a bomb from going off.

"Are you trying to blow up the base just like how you allowed a couple of people use a tank to destroy a base that was occupied?" (y/n) said with a slight chuckle.

"No. I'm trying to not let bomb activate, since someone had knock a switch off." Paul said. "So, mind if you can help me?"

"Sure thing." (y/n) said.

You listened to what Paul said and in no time, the bomb was switched to not go off.

"Thanks for your help, (y/n)." Paul said.

"No problem Paul. Say have you seen Patryck lately?" (y/n) asked.

"Not really. The last time, I've seen him was this morning. He looked tired. My guess is that the boss is giving him certain tasks which is making him feel exhausted." Paul said. "Why are asking? Do you like him or something?"

Once Paul asked this, your cheeks immediately turned red.

"Ummm...no, I'm just worried about him." (y/n) said.

"Oh really? Is that reason why every time when you see him, you blush?" Paul asked.

"Okay, okay, I confess! I like him-no I love him." (y/n) said.

"That's what I thought. (y/n) has a crush on Patryck! (y/n) has a crush on Patryck!" Paul said.

"Shut up you stupid Dutchman! Just keep this between us. Got it?" (y/n) said.

"Yeah sure. Whatever." Paul said.

[Later]

You were in charge of keeping watch by the Red Leader, but only problem was that it took place during the night. You were just not happy with this, since you agreed to go to the shooting range with Yuu and Yanov the next day. And let me just say that you agreed to meet up at them at 8 o' clock in the morning.

It was midnight and you swear that if you don't see an enemy planning on sneaking into the base, you would just ask someone else to take your place so you can sleep. After waiting a couple of minutes, you decided to find someone until you suddenly heard footsteps.

Your mind immediately told you to hide behind crates until the stranger comes by so you can shoot him with your gun. The footsteps neared till they stopped. You held your breath till you heard a familiar Polish accent.

"(y/n), what are you doing behind crates?" Patryck asked with a slight yawn.

"Patryck, oh, I uh...I thought you were an enemy that sneaked into the base. I'm sorry." (y/n) said.

"It's fine..." Patryck said.

You looked at Patryck to see that he had black bags underneath his eyes, plus he seemed to be talking slowly than he regular speed. Also he had an arm up against a wall for support.

"Patryck, are you okay? You seem a little tired." (y/n) said with concern in their voice.

"Yeah I'm fine. I just need to go to my room." Patryck said.

Patryck pulls himself up from the wall and proceeded to walk to his room, but he seemed to be wobbly in his movements. Your instincts told you to help him and so you did. You put an arm on his shoulder and helped him keep from falling.

Luckily Patryck's room wasn't too far from where you were stationed at. Once opening the door to his room, you head inside with Patryck still at your side. You helped him on getting him onto his bed, but just a you knew it, Patryck's weight dragged you with him. You both were on his bed as Patryck pulled you close to him in a similar way to that of someone hugging a stuffed animal.

You admit that it was cute for Patryck to be snuggling you, but you didn't expect for him to kiss you which made your face turn red. You two stayed that way till you kissed him back, before Patryck stops as he opens his eyes to look at you.

"Kocham cię, (y/n)..." Patryck said. "...Jesteś piękna.."

Of course you had no idea what Patryck said in that second sentence, but you kinda understood what he said before it by the way how he said it,

"I love you too Patryck..." (y/n) said.

You both smiled as you slowly went to sleep just before you had the thought of taking a couple of Polish lessons.

~The End~


	11. Jon x Reader

This oneshot was requested by Kiki on Quotev and was made possible for all those lovers of Jon. Jon needs more love and so do the neighbors

Like the Patryck x reader, the reader will be gender neutral

Thank you for your time. Please enjoy the show

You've moved to England from (Country/City) after having a long talk with your parents. You told them exactly why you wanted to move and they accepted it although they would miss you deeply.

The plane that you flew on landed and you were left to go find a place to live. You went on a house search in several areas before stumbling upon Durdam Lane. You walked down the street knocking on people's doors only to get turned down. This went on for quite awhile till you eventually reached a house.

You knocked on the door and waited for someone to come. While waiting, you heard a series of yelling and arguing till the door opened revealing a man wearing a green shirt and had brown hair. He also had a mustache and had dark cycles around his eyes. You couldn't help but to stare at the cup he was holding. It was white and had a radioactive sign on it. The man noticed you staring and spoke up.

"Hey, can I help you or are you just going to stare into outer space? I don't have all day"

You jumped a bit at the man's tone which sounded American with had a tint of a Brooklyn accent. You shook your head a bit and spoke.

"Oh, yeah. You see I just recently moved to England and I kinda need a place to stay. So would you be willing to let me stay at your place?"

The man blinked before letting out a low sigh.

"Fine. Whatever"

The man turned around and went into the house. You followed closely behind him and once inside the house you saw a two other men. One had a chin shaped like butt wearing purple and had blonde hair sitting in a chair reading a book. The other one had small eyes and brown hair. He also wore blue.

"Jon, Mark, we have a new roommate. Might as well introduced yourselves and make them feel welcomed"

Jon and Mark looked at you before coming up to you just to introduce themselves. The one wearing purple went first.

"Hi there. I'm Mark, pleasure to meet you"

The one in blue shook your hand while speaking.

"H-Hello! I'm-I'm Jon. You must be new...around here. I'll be happy to show you around"

You couldn't help but smile at Jon's nervousness. He was sweet yet shy.

"Why it's nice to meet you guys. I'm (y/n)"

You and Jon stopped shaking hands to notice that the man who invited you in didn't introduce himself. Both Jon and Mark looked at their friend.

"Why are you looking at me?"

"It's because you haven't introduce yourself Eduardo" said Mark.

"Oh yeah...I'm Eduardo. Sorry if I haven't told you before" said Eduardo.

"It's okay. No need to be sorry" said (y/n).

"Anyway since this over, one of two show (y/n) around. I'll be dealing with some important business" said Eduardo.

Eduardo then leaves thus having both Jon and Mark showing you the house. They even showed you where your room was which to your liking.

After giving you a tour around the house, Hon and Mark were in the kitchen preparing dinner.

"I really like (y/n) Mark. They're nice" said Jon.

"You can say that again. It was starting to get a little boring with Eduardo going around and bad mouthing everyone including the neighbors" said Mark.

"That I agree with. Maybe things will be a lot different once we all get to know each other. Once doing that, we can hang out together" said Jon.

"Yep! Say Jon, you were pretty nervous when you introduced yourself to (y/n). Do you kind explaining why?" asked Mark.

"Mark you should know. I'm always nervous especially when it comes to throwing insults to people since Eduardo loves to enforce on it on us" said Jon.

"Oh really? For a minute there I thought you like them but in a friendly way" said Mark.

Jon puts the knife down and looks at Mark.

"Oh did I say something that's completely right?" asked Mark.

"Har har very funny. We're just friends and we're also still technically strangers" said Jon.

"Oh. Jon has a crush on (y/n)! Jon has a crush on (y/n)!" chanted Mark.

"S-Shut up Mark! I don't have a crush on (y/n)" said Jon.

"You don't have a what?" asked (y/n) while coming into the kitchen.

"N-Nothing! It's nothing" said Jon nervously.

You gave Jon a stern look as you noticed that he was sweating.

"Okay fine...I know we just met but I really have feelings for you, (y/n), but I don't know if you have the same feelings" said Jon.

"Jon...of course I do. Ever since you introduce yourself, you seemed really nice and sweet. I like shy people, they're cute" said (y/n).

"You...You...think that I'm c...cute? (Y/n) I don't know what to say. All I can is that...would you like to go out and do things with me?" asked Jon.

You smiled at this. "Yes Jon, I would like that. I would like that very much" said (y/n).

"I...I love you (y/n)" said Jon.

"I love you too Jon" said (y/n).

~The End~


	12. Tom x Reader

This was requested by MommyLolipop on deviantArt

Same rule is applied, reader is gender neutral

It's been seven minutes since you've entered the diner. You were currently sitting at a table playing with the ice in your drink.

"Are you ready to order now?" asked a waitress.

"No, I'm still waiting for my date to get here" said (y/n).

"Oh, I see. I'll come back" said the waitress before leaving.

What are you doing in a diner holding up an order? Well you got into a relationship with some person roughly three months ago and you've both decided to go out to eat. Unfortunately for you, the person thought it was a good idea to be late.

You just sat at the table being bored out of your mind till you overheard a conversation between two people. You looked for the source of the sound to find that a bartender is arguing with a drunk person wearing a blue hoodie and had spiky hair. He also had black eyes which seemed kinda odd to you.

"Sir for the last and final time, I'm not giving you another drink" said the bartender.

"...And for the...*burp*...time...I'm asking you for...a...*burp*...drink" said the person.

"Tom, you heard the bartender. No more drinks" said a brunette.

The person who was talking to Tom was wearing a green hoodie, next to him was a person wearing a purple hoodie and had ginger hair.

"Edd...Ma...*burp*...what are you doing?...Can't you see that I'm...busy?" asked Tom.

"Busy with what? You're making a scene" said Edd.

"Yeah! I can't go to places with you being drunk. It's so embarrassing, especially when I trying to be beautiful" said Matt.

"Come on Matt, let's just drag him" said Edd.

"Hey! ...What are you two id...*burps* doing!?...I'm a little tea..*burp*..cup" said Tom as he trying to get both Edd and Matt off of him.

No matter how much Tom tried to break free, Edd and Matt had an upper advantage into dragging him out of the diner. You couldn't help to but to follow them since you always offer to help someone out. So you wondered if this Tom guy was actually okay or not. Edd and Matt sat Tom down on a bench that out in the diner's parking lot.

"Wait here Tom, I'll go call somebody. Matt, stay here and watch him" said Edd.

"Why do I have to watch him? I hate him!" said Matt.

"Matt, I don't want to go over this right now" said Edd.

Edd walks away as Matt just stood there pouting.

"You know what? Screw this, I'll him that I can be helpful" said Matt.

Matt soon runs off leaving Tom behind and once when he was out of sight, you walked up to Tom.

"Hey, are you okay?" asked (y/n)

"Yeah I am. Thank god they left me alone, especially Matt" said Tom.

"Oh I see. Wait, I thought you were too drunk to speak properly" said (y/n).

"Oh that? Eh, I learned how to fake it. Besides I really didn't like being in that diner. They always get a bunch of orders wrong" said Tom.

"Yeah that's true. I'm (y/n) by the way, I've overheard your entire conversation" said (y/n).

"Nice to meet you (y/n), I'm Tom. I technically live with other two people, well three, but I don't mention the third one, since he's trouble. So what were you doing a diner that only has a three star rating anyway?" asked Tom.

"oh I was waiting for someone to come, but it was a lost cost" said (y/n).

"Same here. I got invited to dinner date only to get turned down by someone else" said Tom.

"Oh really? I'm so sorry" said (y/n).

"Nah don't be. I got her back. Her name is Susan and she's my bass guitar" said Tom.

"Bass guitar? Hey, I play bass too and I also play electric" said (y/n).

"Woah! That's pretty cool. Say, I know that this may be random, but uh, care to join me sometime for a rehearsal?" asked Tom nervously.

"Sure, I'll be happy to. I guess it's a date, a band date" said (y/n).

Tom chuckles a bit while a tiny tint of pink appeared on his cheeks. "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then" said Tom.

~The End~


	13. Edd x Reader

This took way longer to do, anyway this oneshot was requested by Ripples

You've known Edd ever since kindergarten and now you're one of his roommates. The two of you have a lot in common especially when it comes to drawing. You both would sit together for hours on drawing and would sometimes have to deal with this daily:

"Hey guys can you draw me?" asked Matt.

"Matt, we've been over this, we're not drawing you" said Edd.

"Oh come on! You always draw either people or objects in everyday life, so why aren't you drawing your other three roommates?" asked Matt.

"We already drew Tom and Tord" said (y/n).

"But you didn't draw me" whined Matt.

"Oh for god's sake...fine, we'll take your request" said Edd.

"Yay!" said Matt.

"As long you don't bother us then everything will be dandy" said (y/n).

"Great! I will finally get to see a drawing version of my face. So much excitement" said Matt.

"Yeah it sure is. Now please leave" said Edd.

After awhile of hearing a very excited Matt going on and on about be drawn on a piece of paper, you and Edd continued drawing.

"I can't focus on drawing lineart since Matt's being loud" said (y/n).

"Same. He made me break about 10 pencils each time I draw a single line" said Edd.

"Oh geez..." said (y/n).

Matt kept rambling as Tom was telling him to be quiet.

"I can't hold in my excitement Tom" said Matt.

"Oh yes you can. I'm surprised that (y/n) can draw with you being an interruption to them" said Tom.

"Finally some peace and quiet" said Edd.

"Yeah, I finally got done with the drawing" said (y/n).

"Really? Let me see" said Edd.

You show Edd the drawing as he looked at it. The drawing was a heart that had both of your names and portraits on it

"Woah, you drew this for me- I mean us?" asked Edd.

"Yeah I did" said (y/n).

"How long did it took to be finished exactly?" asked Edd.

"Well it only took me roughly three hours to do. Also it was really hard to find a decent picture of you since you make weird faces or you're in a group shot with us" said (y/n).

"Oh yeah, I have a bad habit of doing that, hehehe..." said Edd.

"It's not all bad. Be grateful that you can make people laugh and I like that. You're more than just a friend, I actually love you" said (y/n).

"You do? Heh, I guess I have to admit that I have the same feelings as you" said Edd.

"You may be a dork, but you're my dork" said (y/n).

You two were really close to each other before kissing. After a few minutes, Edd breaks the kiss.

"Are we going to finish that drawing of Matt?" asked Edd.

"Nope, we have something better to do. Matt can wait" said (y/n).

"That was exactly what I was thinking" said Edd.

~The End~


	14. Just A Little Confidence

This is for a contest on EW Amino called #WordsCanExpress where those who enter it will be given a word.

My word is "Confidence" which is defined as _"the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust."_

_-  
_  
There are many words on how Sheriff Thompson gets his job done. One of them has to be confidence. He's always telling people that with a little something they can do anything without hesitation. That "little something" was confidence. However, there was one person who didn't seem to be getting the message, so Sheriff Thompson is spending his day on teaching them instead of overseeing the town of Spitbucket.

"Alright Matthew" said Sheriff Thompson.

"It's Prince Matthew" corrected Prince Matthew.

"Whatever. For the past week, you've been kidnapped for 48 times" said Sheriff Thompson.

"What does that mean exactly?" asked Prince Matthew.

"What it means is that, Edward and I had to save you since you just don't know how to keep your guard up" said Sheriff Thompson.

"Oh" said Prince Matthew.

"I've been thinking about this for awhile and decided that I should help you" said Sheriff Thompson.

Prince Matthew scoffs at this. "Help me? I don't need any help. I got this"

"Are you sure about that?" asked Sheriff Thompson. "The last time I checked someone almost stole your crown"

"Luckily they didn't since I screamed and you came" said Prince Matthew.

"Yeah...you need some help" said Sheriff Thompson.

After seeing that Prince Matthew doesn't understand the term confidence, Sheriff Thompson takes him under his wing. He gave out several tips, tricks, and lessons to Prince Matthew in fine detail.

"You want me to do what?" asked Prince Matthew.

"I want you to practice self defense" said Sheriff Thompson.

"B-But I can't do that" said Prince Matthew. "That's against the British Royal Family's code of law"

"I know that, but what if someone were to assassinate you behind your back?" asked Sheriff Thompson.

"That's actually a good point" said Prince Matthew.

"Right. Let's begin" said Sheriff Thompson.

As they were preparing to practice, a woman's scream came heard as gunshots followed shortly that came from outside which alarmed the two.

"What in tarnation?" asked Sheriff Thompson. "Wait here, I'll be back"

Sheriff Thompson leaves as Prince Matthew looked out of the window to see Edward being tied up by Eduardo and his gang.

"Let me go, you filthy bandits!" yelled Edward as he struggling in the ropes around him.

Eduardo smirks evilly as he chuckles. "And why would we do that when it's our lucky day?"

Sheriff Thompson gets out his gun and points it at the three bandits. "Hey! Let him go Eduardo"

"Ah well if isn't it, Sheriff Thompson" said Eduardo. "We'll let him go in favor of you handing the prince over to us"

Sheriff Thompson rolls his eye. "Like I'll ever do that"

"Are you sure? I guess you won't mind if we shot him right in front of everyone" said Eduardo.

Eduardo points his gun right at Edward's head.

"Thompson, please! Do what they say" said Edward.

"Alright! Alright! You got yourself a deal" said Sheriff Thompson. "Just put that gun down"

Eduardo does what Sheriff Thompson told him do. "That's much better. We'll be waiting at the mill. If you're not there with the prince by sundown, you can say goodbye to your loser friend. Let's go boys!"

The trio of bandits left with Edward on a stolen wagon leaving Sheriff Thompson pondering on how he's going to save Edward. Prince Matthew goes up to him.

"What's the plan, Thompson?" asked Prince Matthew. "Are we going to get out of town while Edward is going to be killed or what?"

"No. We're going to rescue him" said Sheriff Thompson.

"We're? You can't be serious" said Prince Matthew.

"I am serious" said Sheriff Thompson. "We need a plan and we need to get you ready"

[Sundown]

At the mill of where three bandits are at, Juan and Marco were seen counting the stuff that they stole.

"Okay, this should be the last one" said Juan. "How many do we have?"

"Hmm...diez" said Marco.

"Really? That's a lot" said Juan. "Eduardo will be so happy"

"Si, él estará emocionado" said Marco. "¿Cuando él está volviendo?"

"I think he'll come back soon" said Juan. "You know him, he likes to wander about"

As they two kept talking, they didn't realize that both Sheriff Thompson and Prince Matthew were hiding behind a couple of barrels as they sneaked into another room.

"Can I change out of this?" asked Prince Matthew. "It doesn't feel right"

"Shh" said Sheriff Thompson. "Not so loud"

"Sorry..." said Prince Matthew.

"Anyway, back on the plan. I'm going upstairs to see if Edward is around" said Sheriff Thompson. "While I'm doing this, I want you to keep those two bandits distracted"

"How am I supposed to do that?" asked Prince Matthew. "You didn't practice with me on how to do self defense"

"That is true, but who says that you need to practice?" asked Sheriff Thompson.

"Well you did" said Prince Matthew.

"Ah right. Whatever. All you need to know is on how to use a little something that everyone has" said Sheriff Thompson.

"And that "little something" is what?" asked Prince Matthew.

"Confidence" said Sheriff Thompson. "Don't believe me? Well you've swallowed your fear into coming here thanks to encouragement. I gave you faith. Now get out there before we get caught"

Prince Matthew nods his head as he goes back into the room where Juan and Marco were at, but he forgot to take cover as Juan noticed him.

"Look Marco, it's the prince" said Juan. "What is he doing here?"

Prince Matthew looks at Juan and Marco. "Uh oh...this ain't good"

"¿A quién le importa?" asked Marco. "¡Vamos a por él!"

Both Juan and Marco took out their guns and pointed them at a panicking Prince Matthew who was freaking out.

"Wait! Please don't shoot me!" cried Prince Matthew.

"And why shouldn't we?" asked Juan. "Give us a reason why"

"Look, my day has been stressful. I've got reminded on the many times that I got kidnapped, witnessed Edward getting captured by Eduardo, and now I'm forced to face you while Thompson is upstairs finding Edward" complained Prince Matthew. "Do you realize on how hard it is be a prince that doesn't know anything yet knows how to trick a bandit into giving me the keys to a cage but ended up failing?"

"We understand your pain" said Marco. "Plus being a bandit is probably much harder than being a prince"

"What? You can speak English?" asked Prince Matthew. "I thought you can only speak Spanish"

"When I first became business partners with Eduardo, I noticed that he had a bad temper so I didn't even bother" said Marco. "Juan here understands everything that I say which gave me the safety of speaking English to him"

"Yes, what you're hearing is true" said Juan. "Eduardo doesn't seem to care about who he's working with and if we try to stand up to him, he'll yell at us. It hurts a lot"

"My...I'm really sorry to hear that" said Prince Matthew. "How I overcome challenges like that, I tend to remember to have confidence. Everyone needs a little something"

"Really? Confidence?" asked Juan. "We never tried that before, but I guess we can do it. Thank you"

"Don't thank me" said Prince Matthew. "You should be thanking the one that said it to me"

Sheriff Thompson comes into the room with Edward who was now free.

"Matthew, you're okay!" said Edward.

"Edward, you're free!" said Prince Matthew. "Are you alright?"

"I should be asking you that question" said Edward. "Did you single handily defeated these bandits?"

"No, all I did was talk to them" said Prince Matthew. "They're actually pretty nice"

Suddenly their conversation ends when the sound of a gun fired off. All of them turned their attention to Eduardo who came walking in.

"Yikes! It's Eduardo!" said Prince Matthew.

"I can't believe that I was gone long enough to see two of my partners failing at their jobs at stopping intruders" said Eduardo. "I thought you two knew better. You're both completely useless! Marco, I expected you to be smarter than Juan, but I guess not"

"¡Càllete, Eduardo!" yelled Marco.

Eduardo sighs heavily at this before growling angrily. "How many times do I have to tell you this Marco? What are you trying to say!?"

Marco chuckles a bit. "I told you to shut up, but that also can mean shut your disgusting trap"

"Wh-What...? You...You can speak English?" asked Eduardo. "Well that doesn't change the fact that I'm going to do the job of getting rid of these annoying idiots myself"

"We figured that you'd say that" said Juan. "Tírate a un poso"

Before Eduardo could say anything, he gets shot right in the kneecap by Juan and Marco as he fell to the ground.

"Ow! My knee!" cried Eduardo. "My actual favorite knee! Why!?"

The next day, Eduardo, Juan, and Marco were all seen behind bars while Edward mocks them.

"Edward, that's enough mocking for one day" said Sheriff Thompson.

"Oh yeah, right" said Edward. "You did good at turning Juan and Marco on Eduardo. How did you managed to do that?"

"Easy! It's called a little something" said Prince Matthew. "Everyone needs to have it"

"That is true" said Edward. "Say, who wants to go the saloon to get drinks to celebrate?"

"I'm in" said Sheriff Thompson. "I was starting to get bored anyway"

"Count me in" said Prince Matthew. "It's on me"

"Hey, can you bring us back something please?" asked Juan.

"Sure!" said Prince Matthew. "Anything for my new friends"

[The End]

Here are the translations on the things that were said in order:

Diez - ten

Si, él estará emocionado - Yes, he will be excited

¿Cuando él está volviendo? - When is he coming back? / When will he be coming back?

¿A quién le importa? - Who cares?

¡Vamos a por él! - Let's get him!

¡Càllete, Eduardo! - well Marco said what it means, but uh, it's Shut up, Eduardo

Tírate a un poso - Throw yourself in a hole


	15. Adventures of Paul and Patryck Pt 1

**A/N: Did some say incorrect qoutes from everyone's two favorite pilots Paul and Patryck? **

**These came from my Eddsworld blog on Tumblr **

Paul: I've always dreamed of becoming a cowboy. Everyday I would practice throwing things hoping to improve my aim. Look at me now, I've mastered it

Patryck: If that's so, then why didn't you follow your dream?

Paul: That's because people always nag me, so I decided to join the army. Here, I don't have to care

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Patryck: What are you doing out here?

Paul: Getting a tan

Patryck: You do realize that we're in the arctic right?

Paul: And? So?

Patryck: Go put something warm on

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paul: *knocks a can over in the store*

Patryck: Why did you knock that can over?

Paul: It insulted me

Patryck: Paul, objects can't speak

Paul: Oh yes they can. I can hear them mocking me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paul: Pat! I need you to help me. Some kid had stolen my lollipop

Patryck: What? Why are you after a kid? I can always get you another one

Paul: Yeah, but I need to find it and fast

Patryck: Okay, I'll ask you one question. What was so important for you just to leave behind a wrapped lollipop, out in the opening, for anyone to take?

Paul: Easy. To use the bathroom and to get this frisbee

Patryck: Ty idioto! *angrily tackles Paul down to the ground*


	16. Paul x Reader

According to the rules of the Red Army, soldiers weren't allowed to be in a loving relationship with each other due to it being an emotional ride that might get in the way. However, there were a few that would keep it a secret. These few would either remain in a relationship or they would sometimes break off in fear that a fellow may rat them out.

One of those who actually kept a secret longer than most have was was you and Paul. When people first see Paul, they get the impression that he doesn't care and they are actually right. Paul can be very short tempered at times, but it quickly goes away when mission goes well.

Now speaking of his relationship with you, you're the only person in the army that Paul doesn't get frustrated with. On your first could of weeks in the army, you've heard many stories of Paul and were told to stay clear from him if he gives you a hard time, but you unexpectedly got on his good side.

At first, Paul thought of you as some soldier tasked to update him like he always gets; however, upon meeting you the first time, he felt something within him. When he took in every what you said, he felt his heart beat by each word. Is he falling for a soldier?

As soon as you done talking to him, you turned to leave only to be stopped when he placed a hand into your shoulder, telling you that you should stay to keep him company. You agree to this and this is where you see a side of Paul.

He would yell at other soldiers who were either not doing their job or were bothering him, but when you were around, he would soften. After many hours of talking and getting to know each other, you and Paul depart ways for the night. All things were going great and Paul was preparing to confess his feelings for you with some helpful advice from Yuu.

Yuu and his partner Yanov, were the first ones to discover your relationship, but promised to keep it from spreading like wildfire as long as they each gave you helpful tips. Paul was being coached on how to confess his feelings to you, but whenever you two are together, he pushes it aside no matter how much he tries till one faithful day.

That one specific day had to be one of the biggest blunders to have happen in the Red Army. It was a day so notorious that in resulted into much stricter guidelines. That day was the day where an enemy army managed to get a victory as one of the many bases of the Red Army were destroyed. Many point the blame on Yuu and Paul were on guarding duty, but they soon blamed Paul for simply not caring. Of course Paul denied that the sounds that they were hearing on the rooftop was probably an animal, but it thanks to some security footage it was four people who stole a tank.

After that, Paul was punished quite harshly. The known personality of Paul being stone cold to others was replaced by nothing but fear. He still had his short tempered part of his personality, but it's now been mocked to the point where he just gives up. It was honestly very sad to see Paul like this and you did everything in your power to make him feel better.

Paul still hasn't confess his feelings for you and Yuu kept telling him that he shouldn't wait forever.

"I don't know why you're trying to keep pushing it aside. Just tell them, Paul" Yuu said.

"I can't. I just can't" Paul said.

"And why is that? You don't have trouble showing them your true emotions" Yuu said.

"I just don't how (y/n) is going to react..." Paul said.

"React? That's what you're worried about? Oh Paul, (y/n) cares about you and your wellbeing. After since the incident, they haven't left your side. They want you to know that they are always here for you" Yuu said.

"You're right, Yuu. You are right" Paul said.

"You sure bet I am! Now go tell (y/n) your feelings for them" Yuu said.

Paul leaves the room that he's in and heads to your post which happened to be located out on one of the many watchtowers of the base. It was nighttime and there were a lot of stars in the sky.

You seen laying on your back looking up at the stars till you heard footsteps. You sat up to see Paul.

"Oh hey Paul, I thought you were a high official at first" you said.

"And I thought that you would be keeping watch" Paul said.

"I was, but I wanted to take a break and I kinda lost track of time" you said.

"That's reasonable. Do whatever you can to relax your mind a bit and besides, I didn't see anyone else when I came here" Paul said.

"Oh. Do you want to stare up at the stars with me?" you asked.

"Yeah, I do" Paul said with a smile.

Paul sits down the ground before you both laid down and looked up at the stars. Without knowing it, Paul was sweating a bit before he slowly held you hand which got your attention.

"Uh Paul, you're holding my hand. Are you ok?" you asked.

"I'm fine..." Paul quickly responded.

You could of sworn that you heard some nervousness in his voice but you let it slide. After a few minutes of not saying anything, Paul breaks the silence.

"(y/n)...I have something to tell you" Paul said.

"Really?" you asked.

"Yes, I've been meaning to tell you this for a long time, but I've never gotten the chance" Paul said.

"Paul...I know that this may sound crazy, but I already know" you said.

"Wait...you do?" Paul asked.

"Why yes...I mean, it was clearly obvious from the time I first met you. You didn't yell at me or give me a short tempered rant because you had feelings for me. I was told by Yanov since he claimed to be some kind of expert. I didn't believe it, but as time went by I started to believe it" you said.

Paul had tears in his eyes before he embraced you in a hug. You've hugged him back as you smiled.

"It's alright Paul, just let it out" you said.

"Oh (y/n), I love you so much" Paul said.

"Aww...I love you too. Look Paul, a shooting star" you said.

Both you and Paul looked up to see shooting star passing by.

"Did you make a wish?" Paul asked.

"Yeah I did. I wished for us to be together forever" you said.

"Heh, funny that you said that...I've wished for the same thing" Paul said.

You looked at each other for a bit till Paul leads in for a kiss which you accepted and kissed him back.

~The End~


End file.
